Who Said Women Have Empathy?
After the decades of participating in training, it has been drilled into me that women usually have greater empathy than men. Females will outstrip men’s ability in putting themselves in a prospects or employees shoes – especially when talking about family issues and challenges.
Well Mr Trainer I now beg to differ, as does one of my friends.
I caught up with a female friend who is an event organiser for one of Australia’s premier event companies. She organises launch events, fundraising, client entertainment and so on for some of Australia’s largest companies. While I may be biased, she does an outstanding job.
Her employer agrees with me! As they have agreed to a flexible employment contract allowing her as a mother of 2 to work 4 days – 3 days in the office and 1 at home. This is the best balance for her. She is wrapped and very appreciative of her company’s flexibility. Her company is wrapped as she is an outstanding employee. And her male clients are happy as their events continue to be outstanding.
But her female clients question her priorities. When I quizzed her more, here is what she shared, “The women are the worst! They show no understanding of my situation nor appreciative of any extra work I do for them.”
I was blown away and she could see how taken back I was when she made such a statement.
Jac explained to me that sometimes on her day off, to help the company and her clients she will do some extra work – emails and the occasional call. But she always prefaces any calls with, “I am working from home today, so you if you hear a baby in the back ground don’t worry. But I may just have help her out for a few minutes.”
She explained to me that 99% of the men she deals with, say “No worries” and even make positive comments about how great it is her employer allows her to juggle work and family. But the women on the other hand!
She was abused by one female national telco marketing manager for having her priorities around the wrong way. Another, suggested that she only call when at the office. And yet another, suggested to her boss that she be replaced by someone who has their priorities in the correct order.
Can you believe it?
I was gob-smacked! In fact still am – hence this blog!
I understand that these women maybe jealous of how lucky Jac is – a great job, excellent boss, and 2 great kids. Actually, who knows why they are jealous but I just can’t think of any other reason why they would be cruel – can you?
Congratulations to Jac and her employer who have established a balance of work and family. Well done to Jac’s employer who trusts her and allows her to do what she does best – organise events. A huge thumbs up for Jac who can fit everything in. A special mention for her male clients who accept her situation and understand. But a double thumbs down to the green-eyed monster females who are making life difficult for someone who has it better than you!
Great post Justin,
especially with such a cheeky title, sucked me right in.
I am amazed also at the response that Jac received from some of the female clients. I can only guess its jealousy or self guilt making someone be so unnecessarily nasty to another human being.
The work from home in part model is going gangbusters these days so i suggest that clients get used to hearing the odd bay crying in the background or learn to deal with inexperienced staff as turnover would be through the roof without it.
Well done Jac, keep up the good work being super Mum and dedicated career woman, I salute you.
I’m not surprised at all. Great post and a wake up call. Why aren’t more women cheering each other on from the side lines rather than looking for discreet ways to trip one another up? My tights are black not blue, but I am a realist and sadly, I’ve seen plenty of examples of this. A former member of our team (who moved on under fabulous circumstances) was a mother of two who worked for us with outstanding results on a highly flexible arrangement. We valued her, we made exceptions for her because she was talented, capable and trustworthy. She worked one day from home, one day in the office initially, then built that up to more time in the office as her little ones grew. But the one thing I will say is this – from my perspective, as an employer, it is about ability not gender. Or at least it should be.
GT
A great post. Everyone, not just business owners and managers, need to think outside the 9-5 office mindset and encourage more flexible work practices.
It’s no secret that the all-girl alliances never win Survivor. This is why.
Hi Justin
I do not think that it is necesarily jelousy. I think its one of the symptoms of the unbalanced an unrealistic expectations that some parts of the womens movement have placed on their so clalled sisters.
While most reasonable people accept that women make an invaluable contribution in the workplace and the idea of a woman’s place being in the home is a quaint idea of the anient past, I find that their is a starnge reactionary type of zeal amongst many women in the work place(in particular those in positions of middle mangement) towards other women which recalls the bully boy tactics of the old BLF.
Their is a stain of thought amongst these women which shows a considerable lack of confidence in themselves and in the general position of women in society. This strain of thought appears to go something like this;
– Women cannot be equal to men until they all start to be as agressive and as go get them as men.
- Women who want to put their families first are traitors to the cause.
- Women who just want to both contribute to the family income but not necesarily climb the corporate lafdder are sycophantic slaves to the old ways.
etc. etc.
While this type of attiude prevails the insecurity and confusion this genertaes in both men and women is the biggets hurdle facing a real and substantial accpetance of the true place of women in society.
That is, that they are and alway have been equal to men even if this status has not always been acknowledged by the power structures in place in any given time and place.
What needs to happen is a shift in focus from affirmative action for the benfits and empowerment of only women to a shift in societal thinking backed by a push for good strong legislation which ensures that all people regardles of their sex can enjoy as much or as little of the great benefits that living in modern society provides.
When we can do this and when the hoo haa of womens equality is pushed into the background of history, where it belongs, and we start talking about issues with little or no reference to how it affects the sexes but look at them based on how they affect the entire community we live in, then we can say that we are all truely equal, men and women.
PAC – people watcher