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The 5 types of ruthless salespeople

We’ve all been faced with unpleasant, pushy salespeople at one time or another. This is not to say that they’re all bad, but there are some who, dare I say, need a brutal reality check.

A good salesperson will prioritise delivering a positive customer experience over making a sale. Whether or not the customer immediately purchases the product or service in question, a good salesperson knows that if they have a positive retail experience, then they will come back.

And then there are ruthless salespeople, who are unwilling to take no for an answer. It’s all about trapping the customer in, and forcing the sale upon them. What the customer wants doesn’t matter.

I’m one of those people who still shop at stores, physically. I haven’t yet embraced the wonders of online shopping. This means that I’m still occasionally subjected to a salesperson with terrible communication skills. Given recent experiences, I’m compelled to look into online shopping.

Here are five types of ruthless salespeople I’ve had the misfortune to come across whilst shopping on a Thursday evening:

1. The money manager

When you’re concerned about your financial situation and how much you can spend, they turn into your personal accountant. 

Remember when Canadian comedian, Russell Peters, joked about an experience he had when he was only offered a fifty-cent discount on a purse he wanted to buy?

When Peters chose not to take the deal, the salesperson turned into his money manager and responded, “50 cents is a lot of money! You save 50 cents here, you go somewhere else, save another 50 cents, then you have one dollar. Then you go to the dollar store and buy something else!”

Well, that pretty much sums it up. I went to a popular retail store looking to purchase an iPad. I’d already given it a lot of thought and made my decision.

While the iPad was in stock, I was not allowed to purchase it because the salesperson wanted me to purchase a different tablet from a competing brand.

His not-quite-convincing argument went something like this, ‘well this tablet is not as good, it has a shorter warranty, and you don’t have the same specs, but it’s 10 dollars less, and I can take another 10 off that. You won’t get a deal like this anywhere. You can do amazing things with 20 dollars. You can even donate it to charity and help change the world!’

I said, “well how about I buy the iPad and still contribute that 20 dollars to charity?”

The conversation went in circles for about 30 minutes before I walked out. I went to another store and purchased the iPad, and funny enough, I got 80 dollars off without even asking.

Lesson 1: Don’t pretend to know more about a customer’s financial situation than the customer herself; and if a customer has made up her mind, accept it.

2. The politician

When you communicate that a product is not right for you, they turn into self-righteous politicians fighting for, what they believe to be, the good of the country. 

I love a good debate, but not with a salesperson with no grasp on logic. I’m sure we can all agree that we should only buy clothes that fit us.

I went to a clothing store and there was a black, lace dress that caught my eye. The size, however, was too small. There was no way it was going to fit me and trying it on would only result in the dress’ demise.

The salesperson said, “Oh don’t worry about size! Don’t believe what you see in magazines. Size doesn’t matter. This dress will stretch.”

I said, “I assure you size does matter when you’re buying clothes. I doubt this dress which, by the feel of it, is made of hard, non-stretchy material, will stretch four sizes.”

This led to a debate on the nature of feminism and young women’s place in the 21st century. Surprisingly, I was not the one to bring up the topic. But I was accused of being ‘brainwashed by the media’ when it comes to beauty, despite not having said anything to warrant that.

Before I walked out, I said, “It seems to me that you’re the one who’s been brainwashed by faulty sales tactics.” I don’t think she got the message, she was busy mumbling to herself.

Lesson 2: A positive shopping experience should not involve a heavy debate. No-one goes into a shop ready to argue with a salesperson. Leave the debate for lawyers and politicians.

3. The stalker

They watch you from a distance. They follow you around the store. They eavesdrop on your private conversations.

Even when you’ve indicated that you don’t require assistance, they just don’t leave you alone.

I recently experienced this at yet another retail store where I was looking around to see what’s the latest and greatest in laptops available.

Every time my interest drew me to a particular laptop model, the salesperson would show up from the middle of no-where and describe every single detail about the laptop, including the history of the brand that designed it.

This went on for quite some time, before I resorted to admitting that he was invading my personal physical and thinking space and that it was making me uncomfortable.

Lesson 3: Give the customer some space. If they need further assistance, they will let you know.

4. The psychic

If you show any doubt about a product, they’ll read your mind and uncover your deep, dark secrets. 

Some salespeople claim to know what you’re thinking, and judging by my personal experiences, they’re usually wrong.

I remember trying to decide on what mobile phone to purchase, when the salesperson butted in and said, “I know exactly what you’re thinking. Let me show you what you really want.”

If he really knew what I was thinking, he would have moved back several steps in fear.

He showed me a significantly more expensive phone with a whole range of facilities that I don’t need. He spent a good half an hour convincing me that all the cheaper products are bad and that I would be disappointed if I didn’t get the expensive one.

He said that for someone like me, who is slightly better than being completely hopeless at technology, a high priced phone would be a safer option, especially in the event I press something that would explode the entire operating system.

Yet again, I walked out, frustrated and annoyed that people feel that they can make a fool of me.

Lesson 4: Don’t assume you know what the customer wants and what is best for them. It only makes them feel patronised. Ask them questions first and offer an option that addresses their concerns.

5. The bad actor

Overly enthusiastic and completely full of lies, they would never make it in Hollywood. 

As much as I love compliments, I hate ungenuine ones.

There are salespeople lurking around the street stopping people to sell a product. Because I’ve had to do this job myself once upon a time, I usually stop out of courtesy and politely say, ‘no thank you’.

But some follow and walk with you, complimenting how you look and falsely-admiring everything that you’re wearing.

I remember long not ago, an overly enthusiastic salesperson could not understand that I was on my way to work and was in a hurry. She spent about 15 minutes trying to convince me that I only need to spare four minutes of my time. What a fail.

When I tried walking away, she started complimenting me, saying I have beautiful skin colour and that I look like an animal lover because I was wearing a leopard print top. While I am an animal lover, I did not buy her compliments.

She also complimented one of the bags I was holding, to keep me entrapped. The bag was a fairly ordinary one from K-Mart and cost about four dollars – I use it occasionally to carry groceries, snacks and heavy books for long train rides. But that’s besides the point.

What followed was a truly shocking theatrical performance. She shouted, “But I can tell you’re a beautiful person inside and out! This [product] is for people just like you!”

I was mortified and resorted to telling her that she was wasting my time and that I had no interest in the product which turned out to be a credit card.

Lesson 5: While showing genuine interest is a good thing, you need to understand the context in which you are interacting with someone. At the end of the day, you are a stranger and people are well aware that you’re trying to sell them something. Subtlety is the way to go.

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Tasnuva Bindi

Tasnuva Bindi

Tas is a journalist at Dynamic Business. She has a passion for visual and performance arts, feminist politics, and animal rights. In her spare time she likes to paint, write poetry, and read courtroom drama novels.

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